When I think back over our year I want to…
Laugh. Cry. Give thanks.
All at once.
December 21, 2015 was a magical day. It was honestly more than I could have dreamt up. I could go on and on about all of the” little things” I will never forget about it. But as amazing as the day was, my favorite moment was running hand in hand with Kyle through a tunnel of people we loved. Running towards his car… running towards our life that was about to begin together. A Wedding Day is a beautiful and wonderful memory, but a marriage is a lifetime. Wise words I now understand a little more: “Prepare/plan for a marriage, not just a wedding.”
Sometimes marriage is a sweet good night kiss and sometimes it is barely choking out an “I still love you” before closing your eyes to sleep.
Sometimes marriage is running to each others arms of comfort and sometimes it is crying in the same arms of the one who caused the tears.
Sometimes marriage is dressing up and going out for a steak and sometimes it is putting on sweats, staying in, and making mac n cheese.
Sometimes marriage is waking up to your favorite persons face and sometimes it is waking up to the smell of some nasty morning breath.
Sometimes marriage is a bubbling affection that cannot help but spill out and sometimes it is making the hard choice to show love, even when you do not feel it at all.
Sometimes marriage is thinking there is no one else in the world you would rather spend life with and sometimes it is wondering why in the world you chose each other.
Sometimes marriage is “first time” kind of sparks and butterflies and sometimes it is holding old familiar hands.
Sometimes marriage is recognition of and apprecation for the things you do and sometimes it is a cooked meal, a long day at work, or a made bed that does not receive a “thank you”.
Sometimes marriage is singing the praises of your spouse and sometimes it is biting your toungue when you want to gossip about them.
Sometimes marriage is living with plenty and sometimes it is barely scraping by.
Sometimes marriage is getting lost in the eyes of the one you love and forgetting anyone else exists and sometimes it is looking away when you want the attention of another.
Sometimes marriage is speaking when you want to be quiet and sometimes it is being quiet when you want to speak.
Sometimes marriage is delightfully easy and natural and sometimes it is painfully slow and messy.
…When I read what God’s Word says about marriage, it feels a little daunting. It does not say that its driving force is romantic feelings and its ultimate end goal is happiness. When it comes down to it, the reason for “staying in it” (with all that you are and have) is simply and profoundly: the covenant you made. This reflects a much greater covenant- Christ and His people. Marriage is described as glorious, spiritual, and profound. It is about so much more than ourselves.
“Marriage is not mainly about being or staying in love. It’s mainly about telling the truth with our lives. It’s about portraying something true about Jesus Christ and the way he relates to his people. It is about showing in real life the glory of the gospel.” —John and Noël Piper
Though marriage is certainly much harder work for some than others and though certain gifts through marriage come much more naturally for some than others– I believe that there is opportunity and grace to experience the unique and beautiful gifts of companionship, romance, and happiness as a result of marriage. It does not have to be this thing we just grit our teeth and get through. My Pastor reminded us this past Sunday (based off of Psalm 45) that we, the church, are an adored bride. Christ burst the doors of heaven open to come and get us. This is not indifference or toleration, it is true love in action. This kind of love is worth fighting to have and give.
Praise be to God for the gift of marriage!
Through it all,
in every season,
HE is faithful and true.
That. Was. Amazing. Thank you so much for putting into words what marriage is. You GOT it…after only one year!!! Just re-read in your twentieth year to remind you of these same things.
Oh Miss Kim, you are such a sweet encouragement!!
Oops didn’t mean to send that response yet. Haha I defitely wrote out of very little experience and by observing and learning from other married couples… And I will have to remember to look back on this again in years to come! Love you so much and grateful for you!!
Amen, Natalie! So many of your true statements on marriage resonated with me – my husband and I have been in sooo many (probably all) of those situations in our 11 years of marriage and it only becomes more true. Marriage is far less about happiness and far more about holiness. Thank you for this reminder! Blessings on your blogging ;).
Thanks so much for the encouraging words and for taking the time to read. I am just getting started as a blogger but have really enjoyed it so far, and I always appreciate feedback. I am no expert at all, but from very limited experience as well as watching and learning from other couples, I wrote the blog. It is encouraging and helpful to hear that from someone who has been married for 11 years 🙂
Thanks again, Natalie