No one can prepare you for what it feels like to stand at the bedside of a loved one and watch he who had part in giving you life, come to the end of their own. To feel their warm hand clasping yours slowly loosen its grip and turn cold. But as I watched my dear grandfather pass from life to death, or more accurately from earthly death to eternal life, and heard what those closest to him had to say there was one word that stood out to me about him: faithful.
His faithfulness wasn’t loud or flashy. It was quiet and consistent. He kept doing the same good things over and over again, until his very last breath. Here is how Gran’s faithfulness manifested itself:
HIS LORD
First and foremost, he was faithful to the One who was Faithful to him first. One of the most reoccurring things people have recounted about Melvin Reeves’ life was that he loved the Lord and loved His Word. He loved the Lord deeply, genuinely, unwaveringly, and increasingly. Even as his temporal mind gave way what was buried in his everlasting soul led his weak and weary voice to clearly and boldly proclaim –
“Perfect submission, all is at rest,
I in my Savior am happy and blest;
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.”
Up until his very last breath, my Gran lived a life that was filled with the Lords goodness and lost in His love. It was his favorite story and most sung song- to praise His Savior all the day long. This faithfulness to the Lord was the foundation from which all other areas of his faithfulness sprung. It was his deepest well and most securing anchor.
HIS WIFE
Gran “rejoiced in the wife of his youth” (Proverbs 5:18). As boys around him chased after new and novel, he was a man who chose to hold the same familiar hand. Oh how he loved his “Jack.” The wife of his youth. As a younger girl I joked to my dad that the “I’m Gonna Miss Her” song by Brad Paisley reminded me of Gran, solely because of his undeniable love for fishing. But I will never forget my own fathers response. It was something like this “my Dad might pretend to choose fishing over Mom, but he would never. Your gran loves fishing, but he loves granny way more.”
While fishing should naturally rank lower than a wife, the sad truth is that many a spouse’s devotion proves stronger to a morning on the lake or a day at the office than a night at home. This truth my Dad told me about my Gran has been a silent but steadying anchor. To know that this was the kind of love my grandfather gave and shared with my grandmother may not have seemed earth shattering but it was generationally grounding. It quite literally changed the lives of his offspring.
He died with his wedding band on. The ring he once exchanged with the wife of his youth.
HIS CHURCH
You will never see the name “Melvin Reeves” pasted at the bottom of a book cover, written down as an option for a breakout session at a conference, or introduced as a pastor on stage. He did not often fill places of platforms and podiums but he ever so faithfully occupied a pew. Instead of grasping for position of his own, he spoke well of those already placed in it. He praised his leaders. He showed up. He stayed. He taught the classes. He sung loud. He hugged the congregations neck. He shook the pastors hand. Again and again.
And the longer I’m a part of the church, I see how powerful this kind of “ordinary church member” faithfulness really is. And I want to be like him. As the bride of his youth could no longer stand at his side, he stood at the side of the bride of his Christ. He drew near to the church and the church drew near to him. All of his days.
HIS FAMILY
As my sister Amanda perfectly put it, “the humble pride he had for his family will be remembered forever.” To be sure, he would take any opportunity given to dote on us verbally. But what he was really marked by was not an outward boasting of his family but an inward cherishing of us. He held us all so very closely in his heart. I never went a day without the stabilizing confidence of how devotedly our Gran loved us. Loved me.
And as spouses joined and children multiplied, his love only expanded. His daughter, son in law, granddaughters, grandson in laws, and great grandchildren who lived down the road from him and some eventually in the same house as him could testify to this way more fully than I ever could: but Gran was there. At the games, sitting around the table, on the fishing dates, with an arm around us on the couch. Not usually with many words but with an overwhelming presence. I know his Georgia family especially will miss his daily physical presence in such a painfully noticable way.
To his family he was abundantly generous and faithfully present. His love was endearing and enduring. He was firm and he was tender. And in his final days none of his family wanted to leave his side because he never once left theirs.
HIS COMMUNITY
A few years ago we sat around Granny and Grans living room as he told us stories of his days as a principle and coach. Through the days of paddling for discipline. Through segregation and school integration. Through the “you drop a pass, you run a mile. You miss a blocking assignment, you run a mile. You make a fumble, I will break my foot off in your John Brown hind parts and then, you will run a mile” kind of practices.
This tough as nails “Reverend Reeves” was apparently, and now unsurprisingly, quietly faithful with his students and players and children (blood or otherwise), too. He was not just a teacher or coach by received position. He was a teacher and coach by chosen relation. He invested, he mentored, he guided, and he expected a lot out of those the world had little expectation for. Because of this, young boys turned men- of all colors and sizes and statuses- came through his visitation line saying things like “he gave me a second chance” or “he bought me my first car.”
Like his impact in all his spheres, his impact in the community he was placed in and stayed in wasn’t loud or showy or exuberant. But it was a strong and steady pillar. It influenced not only policies but real people. And as my mom shared with us these were the very people who came through the line one by one to testify to it. To honor him. To speak of his faithfulness.
My Gran, Our Gran
Buddy, Coach, Mentor, Brother, Father, Husband, Friend…. he was Faithful. He could have never had enough accolades to prove it. But he never really needed the praise to come from a measly piece of paper or even mere people. He has now heard his creator and his King say the words he lived and died to hear-
“Well done,
My good and faithful servant.”
The One he was faithful to. Because of The One who was first and always, Faithful to him.
